Graduation, Holidays, and the Poetry Monster

I am gradu-ma-cated!!!

Well... OK, that's actually my award for finishing the co-op program, but I like it a lot better than my picture with the dean of the engineering school. Plus - I actually studied abroad with Dr. Shuman (pictured above, Associate Dean), and he is all around awesome. A man who buys you a Tsing Tao is always A-OK in my book.

It is still very surreal being out of school, especially since I didn't do the whole cap and gown shindig (our uni doesn't do a formal December graduation... we have to come back in May if we want the pomp and circumstance). But here I am, all requirements fulfilled, graduating with honors, and prepping to take on my new job in the next few months. Phew!

Anywho, it is the holiday season. I spent Christmas with the parents, which was relaxing (and that is all that will be said about that front :P ). Currently up in the Big Apple with Cindy and loving every moment. Obviously, haven't been very crafty in any sense, what with finals and getting ready to move out of my apartment, but now that an infinitely large chunk of time has been freed up for me, I should start being able to write more or... something.

Well, to tide you over, I'll leave you with a little something I whipped up a long while back. I wouldn't have thought to do this, but I showed it to C, and she posted it to every byte of web space that she calls her own.

Most of you should realize by now that I am a horrible human being. Still, I feel the need to preface the following link with a full reminder that I have issues:

Just Another Effing Day

^^^My sister's blog, with a guest piece done by me. I try not to be too apologetic because no one sympathizes with dirty fence sitters, but I do want to mention that:

1 - I wrote that in sophomore of university for a creative writing class, so hyperbole abounds
2 - It's not quite the way I feel about those situations now. The purpose was to go back and describe my thoughts at the time of occurrence, so those were me from ages 16-19.

So, yeah. Sorry and all that. But it is still f'ing funny, so learn to laugh a little.

Happy Holidays.

Cool Story, Bro(gue)

While out with a girlfriend, we were discussing why people usually don't approach me if they don't know me particularly well.  Her explanation was that I have a lovable, if rather prickly exterior, and with that I'd have to agree.  I have a pretty fiery inner dialogue that doesn't come out, or else I'd be shipped off in a white jacket.  But for entertainment purposes, I thought it might amuse you if I talked about my inner workings, starting now:

This semester, as I've mentioned, I decided to take Chinese level 1.  Now, before anyone asks, "Wait.  I thought you WERE Chinese," let me explain.  I'm a second gen Chinese-American, first one on both sides of my family tree to be born in the states (woo!)  When I was a wee girl, I had a toddler's grasp of the language, but that all changed on my first day of preschool.  I like to think that I was a pretty chipper 4-year-old, so when I met my teacher, I greeted her.  In Chinese.

The exchange may or may not have gone something like this:

Despite some contrary belief, English was my first language.

My teacher, not 5 seconds after meeting me, was concerned with my ability to interact with the other children.  She asked my mother if I spoke any English, to which, I sincerely hope my mother face-palmed.  Anyway, the end result was that my parents suggested to me that I only speak in Chinese at home.

Me, being the impressionable, stupid child I was, took this as, "NO MORE CHINESE." 

So I more or less grew up not learning the language.  I knew some words, but I couldn't carry a conversation.  If you've heard people speaking in Mandarin, you know it can have some harsh tones that make it seem like people are constantly angry.  So... you can imagine that dinners at home were occasionally awkward.

 

Anyway.  When I came to college, I was dead determined to take at least one Chinese course.  For 3 years, it never fit in my schedule (level 1-3 courses here meet 5 days a week - a bit hard to work around engineering cores).  This year, I finally managed, and I've been enjoying it very much... 

...All except for this tool bag and a half:

Divided face brought to you by South Park/Pac Man

I have a pretty low tolerance for time-wasters, so this kid ranks high on my list as people I would not mind disappearing.  He's unnaturally loud, reads through dialogues - rushed and forceful, gives constant unrelated answers, and has a voice reminiscent of nails down a chalkboard.

For awhile, I tried to zen-out when he talked and just let his words dissipate in the background.  That didn't work well.  Actually, the unfortunate result was that my mind started turning toward less helpful scenarios, ranging from the slightly violent...

 

...to the snappy.  I found myself wishing I could say things like, "Hey.  How about you give us all an early Christmas present and SHUT UP."

I usually just sit in my chair and break pencil lead, though.

But I got tired of blowing through graphite, and was starting to feel bad about how much I let this kid get on my nerves.  Yesterday, I started wondering if I'd be half so annoyed if his voice were just a little less irritating.  In fact, what if he had an accent like... oh... I don't know, a Scottish brogue.  Would that be any better?

You know.  Something more like this:

Apologies to David Tennant for being such a shitty artist.

So what happens when you supplant a pest for something a little more pleasant?

Problem solved.

Until the next.

Eighty Thousand Strong

If you think the above is a reference to my NaNo word count, you have too much faith in me (though thanks all the same!)  Unfortunately, I had to drop out of NaNo about a week in, due to actual things that I had to write taking over my life.

However, it IS in fact a word count, but for something completely different:

For those of you who pay attention to the little page tabs above, you should have some idea as to what that is.  Several years ago, I began work on my first serious novel.  Over Thanksgiving break, I made the final (hopefully) touches, and this week, I took it to the Espresso Book Machine at the campus bookstore and had it printed.  On real paper!!!

In other words:  HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Well, ok, it's a bit of a cop-out, since I self-published.  My *real* dream would be for a legitimate publisher to accept my manuscript and for girls (and/or boys) everywhere to read and react.  Trying to grab a publisher's attention is a tough business (I've been trying since I was 16, believe me!)  Since I left for university, thoughts like that have been pushed way far out to the back, back, back burner.  In the future, I might pull on my big-girl boots and try again.  But for now, this will do just fine.  I only had so many made for my friends and family.  A limited first edition, you could say.

::Does a dance, and returns to the mill-wheel of engineering::

Until the next.

Giving Thanks and Saying Good-Bye

Happy Thanksgiving!  So many things to be thankful this year... good people... a job... ...Mostly the job :P

I am currently writing from my apartment in Pittsburgh!  Those of you who recall trivia about me should find this shocking, since my parents living in the Philly area.  This is the first year that I have not gone home for the holidays, opting to catch up on a good deal of work before my last semester finishes out.  Regardless of my workaholic tendencies, this is, in fact, kind of significant because, all things considered, I only have my immediate family.  Few of my relatives are close enough (physically or emotionally) to get together for holidays, so our 4-person clan often spends the holidays with... ourselves.  For most people I know, this is a little jarring, since there's always at least an aunt or two at table with them when carving the turkey, but for me, there's a close-knitness in it that can't be expressed.

Long story short, it was a bit sad to not be able to spend my long weekend with them.  Thankfully, I'll be done in a few weeks, and then I'll have a good bit of time off to have share some R&R with them.

Also, luckily, Dillon was also here, for similar reasons, so we split a humble meal of homemade chicken enchiladas and bacon-wrapped jalepeno poppers.  Yum. 

But this isn't about my family.  Well.  Not my human family, at least.

This is about my dog:

When I was in my last year of high school, my sister sent me an email, telling me that her friend's dog had just given birth to a litter of pekingese/shih-tzu puppies, and the family in the care of the dog wanted to know if we wanted one.  It took a little convincing, but my parents said yes.  I was ecstatic.  I had "owned" two dogs before - the first was an overactive lab that pooped on my toys and scared the living daylights out of me (I was but 2 or 3), so he only stayed for about several hours.  The second was a Jack Russell Terrier that was so vicious that we were forced to also give him up after a few months (I was 9 at this time - bit older, but uninformed).   After these abysmal attempts at owning a pet, I was determined to be more prepared and to raise this dog successfully.

Unfortunately, that wasn't to be.  The puppies were staying with my sister's friend's mother, who seemed rather unwilling to part with the pups, and continually pushed back the date we were supposed to take the dog.  This was problematic - I was leaving for college in August, and if we didn't get the dog soon, there wouldn't be much time for me to at least train it some for my parents to take care of.  It was finally July when we managed to settle on a date - well past the time when most pups are to be separated from the mother and siblings.  A bit annoyed, a bit anxious, I head up to NY to pick up who I hoped would be my fuzzy best friend.  And I admit, it was hard to stay angry when I was greeted by this:

I wanted to call him Yukito, for this snowy-white fur.  Cindy wanted to call him Kenzo.  After awhile, Kenzo stuck better, so that's who he was.  Kenzo, formally Kenzo Yukito.  He was a stubborn little thing, but warm and innocent.  I remember my dad telling me that, one morning we woke up to find Kenzo sitting at the foot of his bed, despite us putting up barriers to keep him from leaving the kitchen.  Turns out, he had become so frantic that he actually pushed the barrier over to find us during the night. 

But August too quickly arrived.  Kenzo proved to be very well behaved, and loyal, as all Pekes are, but my parents were old, busy, and unwilling to take care of the rambunctious ball of fur.  After some debate, crying, and sneakiness, Cindy declared that she would take Kenzo.

The next time I saw him was over Christmas break, after my first semester in college.  I recall at one point, my sister went up to the second floor to use the powder room, and when she left Kenzo's sight, he whined so horribly that I thought his heart was breaking.  No such distress was displayed when I was absent.  It was then I realized, he had became my sister's son, and it broke my heart a little. And yet, he was happy, and my sister, all goodness she was, had found someone to dote upon. They loved each other, and that was good enough.

However, about a year ago, the the unthinkable happened.  Kenzo lost the function of his two hind legs.  Pekingese dogs are notorious for having disproportionately long backs.  If not handled carefully, it is easy for them to develop back issues.  Kenzo had learned on his own in earlier years to greet people by standing up and hopping on two legs, and though adorable, it seemed the repeated action had caused him to slip a disc.  He underwent surgery, but even then, he remained paralyzed, only able to move by dragging his body with this front paws.  Still, he remained the sweetest, most loyal dog one could hope to find.  Cindy kept up with physical therapy, and as recent as October, he was able to hobble a bit.  It seemed as if everything would be OK.

Suddenly, several weeks ago, he became fully quadriplegic.  Pain kept him from sleeping, and of course, a dog who cannot even move is ... not a dog who can live life to the fullest. 

My sister's dog passed away three weeks ago.

All the while, the only thing I can seem to think of is something I wrote when I first started work on L'Operetta di Mezzo Forte.  I meant it to be a preface of sorts, but it didn't seem to fit at the time, and it was kind of reminiscent of my teen angst.  But for all curious enough to read on:

"My dog, a Pekingese/Shih Tzu mix, has the body of a Shih Tzu, the face of a Pekingese, the pride of a human, the mannerisms of a cat, and the desires of a dog.  I tend to think that, by some miracle or mistake, he became the amalgam of the dog my sister always wanted, the cat I wanted, and the grandchild my father wanted.  Sorry, Kenzo, but you’re only 1 for 3.
 
I’m never certain if he consciously desires to be human; my only clue would be that he walks on two legs to greet us in the morning.  All I can guess is that he wants to command the respect of a human.  (After all - it’s in his good opinion that we ought to let him eat at the table).  He belongs with us, yet we feed him from the floor.  He stands to greet us, but we scold him to stop jumping.  And at night, when we have all gone to sleep, he pines out of want of company.  This isn’t a stand for PETA or the Humane Society.  I can safely bet that 70% of dog owners treat their pets the same way.  Not to mention, if little Kenzo Yukito is conscious of anything besides the plate of bacon on the countertop, he certainly never shows it.  Judging by my dog’s ever-wagging tail, I’ll safely assume that he is content.
 
Regardless, I have to ask myself, is there ever a time when his neurons click together in such a way that, suddenly, color reaches his eyes, our words mean more than simple commands, and he looks down at his tiny furry paws and thinks, “What am I?”  But, the synapse passes, and he is back to chasing his tail. 
 
It must be a very lonely moment."

I think that, when I relate all this, I'll get a lot of sorry's and sympathy, but it should really go to my sister, whose heart broke when her baby left this world.

I get very awkward when I try to be emotional, so I suppose I'll come out and say it.  I think Kenzo was aware of much more than what I initially gave him credit for.  And maybe, even if I was right, I think, during his loneliness, he had someone watching over him, who made him feel happy, and if he could, he would thank my sister for the life of love that she bestowed upon him.  And for that same reason, I have to thank her, too, for treating him as more than a simple pet to be passed around like an unwanted doll.  His smile was full of life, and I think you gave him that.

Kenzo Yukito Lai
4/30/2007 - 11/9/2011

HAPPY HALLOW(FE)N - Chocolate, Exams, and Death

-Phew-

Last Saturday was the dreaded Fundamentals of Engineering examination, and am I ever so glad to be done with it.  For those of you unfamiliar with the exam, it's a bit like the GRE, but for engineers, and slightly less useful (for me at least).  Well, what I mean to say is, it is aimed at those who would go into design and consulting.  Resultantly, it's more useful for Civil Engineers and the like, whereas I have some doubts I'll be signing off on any reactor schematics.  Regardless, I wanted to keep my options open.

In practice, though, my actual enthusiasm can be illustrated thusly:

Click for bigger piktar!

(You can all banish me from the Internet for using a dastardly meme, now.)

But, it was sort of made up for by the fact that my boyfriend is secretly God's gift to womankind:

Flowers, pepperoni bread, and Godiva.  All a girl could ever want <3

And of course, the fact that it was Halloween weekend certainly helped take my mind off my UTTER FAILURE. Blech.  Well, I'll get my results back in about two months.  Keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have to retake it.

And since this is sort of crafty-related, I present to you this year's costume:
 

A little slapdash, but a girl does what she can on a budget.  I have a tendency to pick characters that no body knows.  So, for those of you who are unaware, I direct you to the appropriate Wikipedia page.  My little homage to Neil Gaiman.

Anyway, it is officially November, so you know that that means!!!

Seriously, seriously questioning my decision to enter, but I think it'll be fun.  My best friend from grade school, GK, and I have already planned some rant sessions.  I've had a novel brewing in the back of my head for eons, too, luckily, so it's just a matter of fleshing it out.

Word count: 0
Words to go:  50,000

Wish me luck!

Until the next.

Inspiration

So much for taking a break.  Between ignoring biology and the FE, my fingers itched for something to do.  A few months ago, I started reading Tea Rose Home's blog (which you can find here), and I've really been impressed by the author, which I'll be discussing after my project blurb.  After seeing a cardigan upcycle, I was inspired to try it on one of my own shirts.

This isn't the original shirt (very similar), but yet again, I've forgotten to take before/after pictures.  On that note, I always feel odd about not having B/A pics.  One, there's always the chance that someone will want to repeat *my* fashions and need a tutorial.  To this, I have to think, "But Victoria, you don't use patterns, and you frequently use other people's tutorials."  In fact, public service announcement:  for the love of peaches, don't follow in my footsteps if, by the off chance, you like my creations.  I eyeball nearly everything, and tend to end up with lots of mismatch. 

Two, and this is the bigger one, there's suddenly no proof that I actually created these things I'm showing off.  But then there are counterarguments - 1.  My work is pretty shoddy, so it's pretty obvious that *someone* hand-made it, and 2. Really, there's no proof that I am who I say I am.  I could be a portly 30-year-old blogging from my mother's basement.  Soooooo... in other words, I frequently concern myself for no reason at all.

Continuing on.

That having been said, I did get a quick shot of me taking away a small bit of the the sleeves.  This shirt, as so many other before, was an old turtleneck of Dillon's.  It didn't fit him very well, and it looked purely awkward on me.  Also, I dislike significant tapering in clothing.  Fun Victoria Fact - "Jeggings" are not okay, and the same can usually be said of skinny jeans.
 

My plan was to make a bolero of sorts.  I've always wanted a jacket like this (the one that the red-head is wearing) because frankly I find them smashing.  This was... definitely not the right material for it, though.  After a lot of compromise, and of course, inspiration from Tea Rose, I came up with this:

The black material came from an old tee shirt that I got from school.  Actually, this is something that want to share for my own amusement.  Take a look at almost any basic tee, and you'll notice that there is no seam from your armpit to your waist.  I have no clue how they do this.  It was explained to me once, but I'm pretty sure it involved witchcraft***.  Regardless, the nice little result of this is that if you cut up the shirt in sort of a spiral formation, you can get a single long strand of fabric, which is what I used for the ruffles.

Using some leftover material, I made a quick rosette to cover bottom corner, where the two ends of the long ruffle met.

As for those heinous sleeves, folded them up and made this faux strap:

Project:  Success.

Okay, so back to Tea Rose.  Kind of.  It's a little bit of a spring board, I guess (I'm really bad at organizing my thoughts today).  Ms. Sachiko, author of TRH and owner of her own company, is probably one of the most genuine bloggers I've ever read.  Her tone is unbelievably... cordial.  I can't think of a better word to describe her, and it's absolutely amazing, given that we live in a time of cutting words, especially on the Internet.  Admit it.  The Internet is full of stinging jabs and "derp".  That's just the unfortunate truth.  Yet she maintains a massive fan-base (I think.  Maybe 5000 followers isn't that big.  I really don't know how these things work).   

I think what staggered me most though, was when she recently posted of her medical history.  My understanding is that illness and crisis is a paralytic.  She, instead, pretty much went, "Screw that noise" and is creating art now. 

Those of you who know me personally understand that, while I have a bit of a "Victoria-Rage" mode, I'm usually a level-headed person.  Part of that, I think, stems from the fact that I have quite a lot of emotional outlets - my writing, martial arts, crafts, and an on-off therapist (i.e., a school counselor who lets me vent some stress, no more, no less.)

The big thing, though, is that I've lived a pretty standard life.  I've never faced a serious crisis, been abused, attacked, etc., for which I am ever thankful.  At the same time, though, I wonder if that means I'm never meant to be unique.  No, not in the "unique snowflake" b---s--- we learn in grade school.  I mean properly stand out.  Back in elementary school, one of my friends made the joke that she would never want to be an artist because she would have to be dead before she could be famous.  We laughed at the thought and very wholeheartedly agreed.  Nowadays, I know that's pretty... not true.  But I do have to wonder if something really traumatic has to happen before you elevate yourself to legendary status.

I know this thought is pretty trite, but when was the last time you saw a biography about a person who led a perfectly normal life and decided to do something extravagant?  Being awesome usually means taking a massive risk, and if you're already happy enough, why take the leap?  And these people who do go big instead of going home... is it because they have nothing to go home to, so they say, "You know what?  It can only get better from here."?

So... now I'm just doing exactly what I said I WOULDN'T do when I started this blog... angst.  I guess I'm feeling badly about myself because I recently walked into a book store and looked at the teen fiction section and realized, "Dear lord.  Even if I can ever publish my own book, it's just going to be a dusty tome on a shelf of unwanted, smutless romance novels.  Why am I even bothering?"

... But... seriously, if a woman without a leg can be as happy as she is, doing what she loves, why am I being such a damnable Debbie Downer?!  Ugh, I hate when I get in these moods!

:: Punches self in face ::  1 week to the FE, and 1.5 weeks to NaNoWriMo!  Holy fricker-fracker! 

Yeah, I don't know where to go from there.  I'm curious to see how other people feel about inspirations and dreams and the such, so feel free to leave your comments in the dooblie-doo. 

Until the next.

*** The process is actually called tubular knitting... Pretty nifty - look it up if you are interested.

Notes on "Productivity"

Weekends that are bad for homework usually mean that they were good for crafting.  Last weekend into this weekend is definitely one of those occasions.

I've been quite busy with little things here and there, even if I haven't been posting.  But, in my defense, I've had several reports and first round midterms since last we spoke, so I apologize for the brief break.  To make up for things, I'll share a few of the things I've been working on.  Last weekend, I filtered through Dillon's pile of things and came across two pieces that seemed to ask for a revamp: 

Actually, the top one was originally about as purple (and darker) as the hood on that silken... hood-thing (an old night-shirt, I think.  Screams "court jester" to me).  That orange color was the result of me trying to lighten it with Rit Color Remover.  Certainly got rid of the purple, but I wanted something that wasn't so "Orange Jump Suit", if you know what I mean.

So, added half a package of Rit Scarlet, and this was the lovely bit that came out:

Nice color.  Originally I wanted to make a collared shrug for myself, but after showing it to Dill, he said he liked the new look so much that I chopped off the slightly-too-short-sleeves and made him a new button-down.  He got a few compliments on it in class, as well :)

As for that funky silk piece, I have to tell you, I've never been so scared to work with a material as I have been w/ silk.  I had read online how finicky it was to clean, which was bothersome, since it was all wrinkled and a bit off-smelling from sitting in storage.  I finally got so fed up with it that I ended up just dumping it in a sink of cold water and washing it by hand with some dish soap.  Worked just fine in the end.  After quite a bit of un-hemming and restyle, I came up with this:

It's a little... "eh" at the moment.  Since I've taken this picture, I've cut a bit off the sleeves, but it's still a bit boxy for me.  I was hoping to have a cute little dress for parties, but something about it just seems off.  Project status:  limited success.  At least I know how to handle silk, now, so take your victories where you can.

Anywho, this also probably needs an honorable mention:

Who needs Hello Kitty when you've got Nerdy Kitty?  This is a shirt I've been wanting to make for awhile, though I'm not super pleased with the layout.  Sewing shirts has always been an issue b/c it always stretches at the ends.  It might me that I need to set the tension lower on my machine... suggestions?

I will admit, though, I am very happy with the way the drawstring up the sides came out.  This used to be an over-sized tee (courtesy of Dillon, of course), that I cinched up a bit.  The drawstring came from another tee shirt.  I stretched out the material and made a nifty little cord.

The fact that I've been having limited successes with sewing rather recently might be a hint for me to take it easy on the projects...  especially with NaNoWriMo coming up!!!  My first time trying!  Aaaaaagh, I'm so nervous.  I have this horrible habit of backing out when things get to be "too much", so I'll need help not doing that with this...  I have an idea for a plot, but it's so nebulous.  Plus there's the FE right around the corner, so I'm doubly freaking out... 

In other words, you may see less of me in the next few weeks, and if you do, it'll be me ranting.

Until the next.

Student Angst Pt. 2, or "Why reading Wikipedia should be sufficient to earn my degree"

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of latest thoughts on [my] education, I thought I'd at least highlight my latest project - just to start things on a good note.

A few months ago, I asked Dillon if I could sift through some of his unwanted clothes, and he willingly obliged.  One of the better pieces I found was a pair of Perry Ellis pajamas that he rarely (probably never) wore, and I could kind of see why:

Not only could I easily fit two of me into these trunks, but the elastic inside was the opposite of effective, nor did the drawstring help things.  A good snip snip snip was in the future for these pj pants.

 

I had a ton of fabric now, but what to make?  Well, I did recently shrink my favorite skirt (it was actually a hand-me-down from my sister... Sorry, Cindy.)  A new plaid skirt was definitely in order.

For some reason, I couldn't get a good picture, but rest assured, it turned out very well.  I accidentally misjudged the width of my waist, and it ended up being a little too big on me.  No problem - I cut a length of wide ribbon, put some belt loops on the waist, and made myself a pretty bow.

Project status:  success.

OK.  Now to explain why I'm being a huge pessimist again.  This semester, I made the somewhat unfortunate decision to take Foundations of Biology 1 (for the Bioengineering minor, and because I had a somewhat genuine interest in re-introducing myself to the material).  For those of you who follow on me on Facebook (read:  all of you because everyone follows the link from my FB), you know that I am already at odds with the department for their hugely disorganized manner of selling the textbook.  As the semester started, I put that aside and tried to keep an open mind about the class.

...That ended up not lasting very long, and I shortly discovered that the only way I could maintain interest in class was by reading the text with extreme scrutiny and measuring their claims with my own prior education.  

Example #1:  "Molecules that contain carbon are called organic molecules."  - Biological Science, 4th ed, Scott Freeman, 2011

So... when did we forget about carbon dioxide?  Most forms of carbonate?  I... could keep going with this.  Like... you know... diamonds...graphite... I... OK, I'll stop now.

Furthermore, because lecture is text-based, my professor has it in her mind that lecture is allowed to mean "The Cliff Notes Version, minus the useful analysis sections."  There was one time that I was outlining a chapter during lecture, and the professor hit upon maybe half the major points that I noted.  Does this mean that I am over-outlining?  No, because everything in the chapter is free game, whether or not covered during lecture.

I have hundreds of petty grievances, but there's no point in listing them here.  It would only breed more resentment.  The point is, all of this leads me to the very unfortunate question that I really dislike hearing from other students, but am now suffering myself:  "Why am I going to lecture?"

As snooty as it may sound, I feel a little bit like Matt Damon in "Good Will Hunting", mocking the Harvard student for spending tuition money on knowledge he could have gained by just reading a book at a fraction of the cost.  And to be fair, there have been several classes in my education where lecture made my head spin, and class material was better elucidated with the text book + Wikipedia or equivalent. 

I think I'm disappointed for a few reasons.  When I went on my first college visit, the professor in charge of the visit explained to us that everything we learned in high school was likely going to be covered in the first lecture.  Furthermore, we would be learning useful, or at least interesting, application material, not just the rote knowledge that had been dumped on us since kindergarten.  After watching a video of an MIT physics 1 professor ride a giant pendulum to prove that frequency was independent of mass, shivers of delight ran down my back.  I've been presented with opportunities like that... maybe... 50% of the time.  And a good portion of my "fun fun experience time" has been from co-op and research.  So.  Yeah.

But my real resentments might stem from my own inadequacies, too.  When we're children, we tend to have pretty high ideals for the future.  Mine was that I'd one day become a medical doctor.  But the reality of it kind of progressed thusly:

click for full-view... 'cuz I can draw pretty :P

Moral of the story?  It's kind of like asking your parents for an elephant, and then eventually working your way down to a dog:  Aim real high, and hopefully something good will come of it.

Agh.  But it shouldn't be like that.  Doing college in reverse, so to speak, has been a little eye-opening.  As I look around at the freshmen around me, some bright eyed with questions that our professor isn't entertaining properly (she frequently blows it off with a - "it's not my area, so I don't know" - I F**KING hate it when professors answer like that), others jaded because they already "know everything", I start to see the naivete that I was kind of swimming in when I came to college.  I never looked into how I was supposed to attain god-doctor-status.  I just assumed that going to med school meant MCATs and good grades - none of that "kissing up to hospitals and professors" kind of stuff.  And when I was bored with school, I didn't challenge myself to go above and beyond.  Yeah, sure, it's easy enough to read all the information and absorb it, but if you're not really understanding it - truly trying to comprehend and use all that you learn - what's the point?  Otherwise, forget lecture and all that "learning" nonsense.  I'm just paying for a piece of paper.

So, now I'm close to earning my degree, and I've received and accepted a job offer.  I'm over the moon about my job, really.  I've never been happier.  And maybe the whole doctor thing was really just a lofty ideal that ignored all the huge negatives about life in medicine (have you seen insurance rates these days?!)  But I sometimes feel the need to sit down and apologize to the 4-year-old. 

TL;DR:  Bio is horrible, but if I'm so annoyed off, I should take the initiative to learn anyway.  Otherwise, I'll be sitting in a steaming pile of mediocrity  :\

Until the next.

Pinches to Grow Inches and Student Angst

Ahhhhhhh, seriously overdue update.

Like I said, things would slow down significantly once school started, and here I am, exactly 1 month later, I'm letting you know that I am, still, not dead.

Quite the opposite, in fact!  I recently celebrated my birthday, and as you well may know, it's rude to ask a lady her age :P  Finally got my horns from Peter's Pub - only took 2 years!  (That was a massive clue, by the way)

Phi Rho sisters @ Peter's!

Also had a great weekend with Dillon.  We went out to Cheesecake Factory for some delicious appetizers and a divine strawberry cheesecake - yum!  (I <3 cheesecake, if you were curious).  Later on, it was time for presents, aka - "My Boyfriend is the Best Boyfriend in the World" time.  It's not already enough that he took me out for a wonderful dinner, but he surprises me with this!!!

Achievement Unlocked!  Productivity Gained!!!

XD !!!!!  I might have squealed a little bit when I opened these.  As if I don't have enough thread!  My first order of business was to hem the bottoms of a new pair of jeans (they never come in my size.  Gah.)  I will be sure to put together some new pieces when I have a little more time :)

And then there was this masterpiece:

Dillon revealed that this real work of art was actually about a year and a half in the making.  Most of the credit for this goes to his mom, Shelly Haas (whose presence you can find on the intarwebs here <-- shameless plug) who did a large portion of the top coating w/ the gradient, and did all the calligraphy.  If you can't read the quote, it says, "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another."  Attributed to Luciano de Crescenzo, a modern renaissance man, it's my favorite quote of all time.

In other news, school has otherwise been school... esque.  (In other words, this institution has an unrivaled talent in sucking the remainder of my soul from my eye sockets, day by day).  Here are few little musings that I'd like to share with the class:

• I wish I could tell the snide know-it-all that if she's so brilliant, she should realize that she was quite fortunate in her early schooling, and that life would be so much the better if she'd put her energy into helping those who haven't taken 4 years of Chinese instead of rudely correcting them under her breath
• Each language has its flaws, but to make point-blank declarations such as "this is f---ing stupid, just use the same one" is really very saddening.  That aside, if you want to see a clusterf--k of grammatical flaws, try taking a look at the English language sometime.
• When I hear comments like, "Why bother asking... you don't understand it anyway," I wish I could look the questioner in the eye and respond, "Allow me to introduce you to the concept of curiosity.  I find it severely lacking in the young minds of today."
• I wish I could tell the girl in my bio lab, "If I had to rank, I would put you in my top 10 of most beautiful girls I have ever met in person," without having to preface with "No Homo."

Not really relevant, but there it is.

Anywho.

TL;DR - I am not dead.  School is somewhat soul-sucking.  I have some new projects planned for the future...  Ish.  I recently registered for NaNoWriMo (first year ever!!!) so you may hear shrieking throughout the month of November.   Or not.  Look back for updates, as always.  Things may start taking a more literary shift as the weather gets cooler and it becomes harder to find pieces to fix up for winter.

Until the next!

"What's that 'Philadelia' girl?..."

"...What's that mean?  No sexy?"

Ah-hah-hah.  The days of my youth in the high school pit orchestra on the set of South Pacific.

But for real.  I hail from a suburb of Philadelphia, and I am home for the week, just before the hell-throes of my last semester begin.  Well... I exaggerate a bit - my course load for the next few months is:

- Process Design 1 + lab (Chemical Engineering core curriculum)
- Bio 1 + lab
- Chinese 1

So, to be fair, this is technically the easiest semester I've taken since Freshman year, 1st semester.  ...Stop staring at me like that.

Anywho.  I must admit that I haven't crafted a great deal since I got home, despite my sewing machine being within arm's reach.  My parents aren't really too fond of the 2nd-hander mentality, despite being the most frugal people I know (actually - fun anecdote - I decided to wear an old thrift store green jersey dress with a lace tucker, and the very first thing my mom said to me when she saw me was "Wow!  ...You look like an old woman!")  To that end, I left my scraps in Pittsburgh.  Sigh.  In the interim, I can at least share this quickie that I've been working on:

I made this from a large tee-shirt w/ a giant racing logo screen-printed on the front.  Actually - that hole on my back, where you can totally see my bra?  That was originally the front of the shirt.  I turned it around, cut out the logo, and cinched up the gaping hole to make it a little more fun to wear :)  Also - just in case you ever are curious, food is a really great way to stain yourself, but a terrible way to get good dye results.  Beet juice?  Pale orange-brown.  Tea?  Pale orange-brown.  Ketchup (read:  desperate)?  Pale orange-brown.  It's pretty disheartening, given all my other clothing items that are forever ruined because of a spill.

Ironically, the reason for whipping this up was because I needed a plain white tee-shirt for a benefit that I'll be volunteering for this September.  It's called Savor Pittsburgh - if you live in the Pittsburgh area, you should check it out.  All the major restaurants in the area gather in SouthSide Works to have a great sampler event.  My sorority (don't go mental - it's the engineering soro) volunteers every year; this'll be my second time bussing.  It's good fun.

http://www.savorpgh.com/


Publicizing aside, the (current) front is a little bit too boring at the moment, so if anyone has any suggestions to spice it up a little, I'm all ears.

Things might slow down even more once school starts, but I'll still try to get a piece in every week.  If not clothing, then maybe a recipe or something similar.

Until the next.

In a Bind

While we're still in the very early stages, and before I continue with my weird little sojourn of sorts, I thought it might be a good idea to inform all readers of the following:

Just in case it wasn't already apparent, I have no idea what I'm doing.

Not owning a sewing machine (in my apartment, at least.  There's an old Singer at my parent's place) was probably the first tip off.  Generally speaking, I don't buy/download patterns.  I try to follow recipes/craft directions to the best of my abilities, but I can guarantee that I will deviate a bit for one reason or another.

The point of this isn't to deter you from reading my musings, otherwise, there would be no point in blogging in the first place.  Instead, I mean only to 1.) give you a heads up when I do something completely "what in the world are you doing?!" worthy 2.) preempt the times that I completely ruin a project and 3.) sort of give you incentive to try branching out into your own kind of creative zones.

I like to think I have some basis for eventual talent, since my grandmother was a seamstress.  Realistically, though, that's a stretch.  If we want to dig a bit, I've been sewing for a lark since I was 6. Messed around with that for a few years, and then proceeded to get a C in Home Ec. my first semester of junior high school.  ...And to that end, I still burn myself when I iron clothes, but only sometimes. 

But, you know what?  It's great fun, it makes me feel a little more earth-friendly, and over the years, I've been able to gauge a steady growth in my abilities.  Also, I quite like it, so let's continue on with one of my biggest flops this year.

Being Asian, I've had a love/hate relationship with my bust.  I sat at an A-cup for about 8 years, making bra-shopping extremely difficult, since stores rarely carried my size.  Under-wire/padded always felt cutting and uncomfortable, but the alternative barely hid anything cold weather.  On top of that, I always have the bad luck of having straps that dig into my shoulders, or just plain fall off my shoulders. 

In more recent years, I've test a few alternatives - sports bras and camisoles.  They fared a little better, but still shared some issues (mostly the cold-weather ones).  After Google-ing for solutions, I came across two other options - binding and bandeaus.  Having played a male in several roles, I was sort of familiar with binding, but wasn't too keen on the idea because 1.) Hi, I'd rather not make myself any flatter than usual and 2.) If you don't do it right, breathing becomes a bit more taxing that it should be.

So... bandeaus it is?  I was still worried about the cold-weather thing, so I thought I'd try a stiffer fabric, like denim.  Luckily, I had an old leg left over from a patch job I did on a friend's pants.  Okay, now going to back to the whole "I haven't a clue" dealio, I sort of turned this into a hack job, randomly making measurements right at my armpits, across my bust, and right below my bust.

The outcome was this:

Not too horrible-looking, right?  Well... the problem was, it hugged in the wrong spots, and worst of all, it was still really obvious when I was perky.  It would be a punishment for everyone involved if I took a picture myself wearing it. 

Project status:  Scrapped.  I ended up using the denim for a second gift for Dillon.

I might give it a second go with a better pattern and maybe a "buffer" region, of sorts.  It's back to bras for the time being.  Luckily, I've come across bras with petals, which is quite nice, but it doesn't cover the discomfort issues.  Not sure what I'll try next. 

I hear tape is quite the new thing. . .

Uh...

 Cripes, that must hurt to take off.

The Final Countdown

I realize that I said in my last entry that I was going to talk about candying, but as per usual, the issue is I don't have any pictures (and haven't had a lot of time to start a candy-making day from scratch!!!).  But I promise, at some point, I'll get to my specialty (according to my friends) - candied orange peels and crystallized ginger :)

In the meantime, though, I thought I'd share a little how-to for an upcoming special occasion.  August is a fun time for me for several reasons.  Work will be over soon, school will start up in a few weeks, and - the creme de la creme - it's my and Dillon's anniversary.  We always try to challenge ourselves to give unique gifts, since we both like to think outside of the box, but still like to keep it practical.  Case in point - one V-Day, I received a snazzy mini butane torch.

Flame on!

It's only our 2nd anniversary, and being a college student on a budget, I thought I'd go for a homemade gift - cheesy, but meaningful.  Today's project:  a picture frame clock.  I'll readily admit that I had no basis to start from, and all I had was an old, broken clock that I had found in the back corner of my office.

Not very nice looking, and plus the outer frame was cracked in a ton of places.  I took the entire thing apart, leaving me with just the important part - the gears and the hands.  From there, it was time to go town. 

Eventually, I'll put a pic of Dill and I in the empty white space, but that's more or less the finished project.  I'm really happy with how it came out, especially the fake pearl decal.  If you're interested in make a similar one, I've posted a how-to here (link goes to my Cut-Out and Keep profile).

Project:  success!

Fridays: Sweet as can be

I promise I'm not one of those people who starts a blog and then just dumps it.  Handwritten diaries - yes.  I frequently start and then drop a diary at the turn of a dime.  The problem at hand is that I tend to forget to take before and after shots, which kind of makes this not as fun. 

Also - the other big thing is that I don't own a sewing machine, which means I do everything by hand!!!  As my friend's mom, more or less, said:  "You're crazy!"  Yes.  I'm insane.  I'm well aware, but I've moved at least 6 times in the last 3 years, which means an apartment retention rate of ~6 months.  There's a valid reason behind this.  I work on 4 month rotations, which occasionally calls for me to live outside of the city.  It's not because my apartments have [always] been shady.

ANYWAY, the long and short of it is, I don't think a proper sewing machine would be able to handle all that packing and unpacking, especially when I'm generally living in confined spaces.  Plus - poor college student budget?  A Pfaff would not fit anywhere into that.  Hence.  Hand-stitching 'til my fingers bleed, because screw thimbles.

I thought I'd take this entry in a slightly different, yet still crafty, direction.  Aside from the sewing thing, I really enjoy cooking.  Having a giant sweet tooth, I love making anything involving sugar.  Today's treat of the day?  Fondant, of course.

I loved playing with clay as a kid and always wanted to try a hand at marzipan.  The problem was, I disliked the flavor of almonds, and still kind of do.  Browsing through AllRecipes.com, I stumbled across something new and fun - marshmallow fondant.  And here is the easiest recipe I found.  Ever:

- One 14oz jar of Marshmallow Fluff
- Copious quantities of confectioner's sugar (usually about a half to 3/4 of a 1 lb bag...)
- Food coloring (optional)

...That's it.  Mix it all together until it's stiff to your liking, and you've got a pretty cheap, decent fondant.  Granted, it doesn't taste nearly as good as fondant from scratch, but it does the same job:

This was the first fondant cake I ever made.  The little flower bits are made from a petit fours mold that I stuffed with excess cake and some frosting :)  Super yum. 

This one was a bit more recent.  It was a welcome home gift for Dillon, who loves lemony sweets.  So, I made a lemon cake from a Duncan Hines mix (I tend to cut corners when it comes to baking, just because it doesn't always mean I'm skimping on flavor, and I don't have a lot of time to make things completely from scratch).  The dragonfly was done on a whim, so didn't turn out as well as I would've liked.  I was quite proud of the lotus, though.

Easy as pie, and just as tasty, too.

Next up:  How to candy just about anything.

TGIF and Jean Skirts

It has been one of those weeks at work.  One of those... crazy weeks where my professor has been at home sick for three days straight, leaving me with virtually no work this week.

You don't have those weeks, too?  No?  Oh.  Okay.  Just me.  Well, needless to say, I'm aching for something to do other than stare at Excel.

Anywho, it's summertime in Pittsburgh, and that means hot 'n muggy weather!  Today the high is 91˚F, and my apartment is not taking kindly to the fact that I don't have AC.  I need a piece that is going to keep me cool.

I raided the old, unworn clothes sections of my drawers, and even asked Dillon if he had anything he'd be willing to part with.  Between the two of us, we had a pretty fair collection, though I found that I was more drawn to fixing up Dill's things.  He wears clothes about a size up from me, which means I get more fabric and more wiggle room to deal with.  Case in point - he had a pair of older jeans that were now just too small for him, but a little too wonky-looking on me.  Too bad I don't have a before pic, but we all know what it feels like to put on a pair of pants that hug you in all the wrong places.

After a little Google Image browsing for "upcycling jeans", I decided to take just about everything apart and make a new jean skirt.  One of the more common ways to make a skirt is to just take apart the legs at the seam, but then you get that awkward crotch gap that you need to fill with more fabric.  You know - the one that says, "I'm crafty but a little lazy."  Also, I didn't have much denim to spare for filler.  So I decided to go a different route and just cut everything off from the zipper down.  I then cut the legs into panels and sewed them back on.

What I ended up with was this cute little number:

Not too short, not too long, slightly asymmetric (on purpose, I swear!) and the best part - it's a skirt with HUGE POCKETS!

Also handy - the little flower patch was something in the tool box I bought, and the ribbon had been leftover since my freshman year, when my sister sent me a cookie care package (she's the best person ever <3)

Project status?  Success!  My only complaint is that, the waist is a little stiff, so when I sit down, it tends to ride up my waist. 

Remember, my friends.  Good girls sit like this:  X.