A few months ago, I asked Dillon if I could sift through some of his unwanted clothes, and he willingly obliged. One of the better pieces I found was a pair of Perry Ellis pajamas that he rarely (probably never) wore, and I could kind of see why:
I had a ton of fabric now, but what to make? Well, I did recently shrink my favorite skirt (it was actually a hand-me-down from my sister... Sorry, Cindy.) A new plaid skirt was definitely in order.
For some reason, I couldn't get a good picture, but rest assured, it turned out very well. I accidentally misjudged the width of my waist, and it ended up being a little too big on me. No problem - I cut a length of wide ribbon, put some belt loops on the waist, and made myself a pretty bow.
Project status: success.
OK. Now to explain why I'm being a huge pessimist again. This semester, I made the somewhat unfortunate decision to take Foundations of Biology 1 (for the Bioengineering minor, and because I had a somewhat genuine interest in re-introducing myself to the material). For those of you who follow on me on Facebook (read: all of you because everyone follows the link from my FB), you know that I am already at odds with the department for their hugely disorganized manner of selling the textbook. As the semester started, I put that aside and tried to keep an open mind about the class.
...That ended up not lasting very long, and I shortly discovered that the only way I could maintain interest in class was by reading the text with extreme scrutiny and measuring their claims with my own prior education.
Example #1: "Molecules that contain carbon are called organic molecules." - Biological Science, 4th ed, Scott Freeman, 2011
So... when did we forget about carbon dioxide? Most forms of carbonate? I... could keep going with this. Like... you know... diamonds...graphite... I... OK, I'll stop now.
Furthermore, because lecture is text-based, my professor has it in her mind that lecture is allowed to mean "The Cliff Notes Version, minus the useful analysis sections." There was one time that I was outlining a chapter during lecture, and the professor hit upon maybe half the major points that I noted. Does this mean that I am over-outlining? No, because everything in the chapter is free game, whether or not covered during lecture.
I have hundreds of petty grievances, but there's no point in listing them here. It would only breed more resentment. The point is, all of this leads me to the very unfortunate question that I really dislike hearing from other students, but am now suffering myself: "Why am I going to lecture?"
As snooty as it may sound, I feel a little bit like Matt Damon in "Good Will Hunting", mocking the Harvard student for spending tuition money on knowledge he could have gained by just reading a book at a fraction of the cost. And to be fair, there have been several classes in my education where lecture made my head spin, and class material was better elucidated with the text book + Wikipedia or equivalent.
I think I'm disappointed for a few reasons. When I went on my first college visit, the professor in charge of the visit explained to us that everything we learned in high school was likely going to be covered in the first lecture. Furthermore, we would be learning useful, or at least interesting, application material, not just the rote knowledge that had been dumped on us since kindergarten. After watching a video of an MIT physics 1 professor ride a giant pendulum to prove that frequency was independent of mass, shivers of delight ran down my back. I've been presented with opportunities like that... maybe... 50% of the time. And a good portion of my "fun fun experience time" has been from co-op and research. So. Yeah.
But my real resentments might stem from my own inadequacies, too. When we're children, we tend to have pretty high ideals for the future. Mine was that I'd one day become a medical doctor. But the reality of it kind of progressed thusly:
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| click for full-view... 'cuz I can draw pretty :P |
Moral of the story? It's kind of like asking your parents for an elephant, and then eventually working your way down to a dog: Aim real high, and hopefully something good will come of it.
Agh. But it shouldn't be like that. Doing college in reverse, so to speak, has been a little eye-opening. As I look around at the freshmen around me, some bright eyed with questions that our professor isn't entertaining properly (she frequently blows it off with a - "it's not my area, so I don't know" - I F**KING hate it when professors answer like that), others jaded because they already "know everything", I start to see the naivete that I was kind of swimming in when I came to college. I never looked into how I was supposed to attain god-doctor-status. I just assumed that going to med school meant MCATs and good grades - none of that "kissing up to hospitals and professors" kind of stuff. And when I was bored with school, I didn't challenge myself to go above and beyond. Yeah, sure, it's easy enough to read all the information and absorb it, but if you're not really understanding it - truly trying to comprehend and use all that you learn - what's the point? Otherwise, forget lecture and all that "learning" nonsense. I'm just paying for a piece of paper.
So, now I'm close to earning my degree, and I've received and accepted a job offer. I'm over the moon about my job, really. I've never been happier. And maybe the whole doctor thing was really just a lofty ideal that ignored all the huge negatives about life in medicine (have you seen insurance rates these days?!) But I sometimes feel the need to sit down and apologize to the 4-year-old.
TL;DR: Bio is horrible, but if I'm so annoyed off, I should take the initiative to learn anyway. Otherwise, I'll be sitting in a steaming pile of mediocrity :\
Until the next.
