Glasses: An Evolution

Having recently obtained a pair of prescription safety glasses for work, I was reminded of something I had wanted to share from before I started my new job. A bit of a lemonade-from-lemons tale.

I've had to wear glasses since age 9. When I first got them, I was impressionable and pretty low on self-esteem. At the time, I was sure that someone was going to call me four-eyes or point out the fact that I looked like a major nerd. This was not helped by the fact that, being the awkward mofo that I was, chose the most unflattering pair of frames possible.

It got slightly better from there on out. Hints from my sister and browsing through fashion mags helped right the wrongs of my youth, but for awhile, I was still sort of self-conscious of my specs. The saying "Boys don't skip classes for girls who wear glasses" seemed to be permanently burned into my head.

From ages 13-18, my vanity was appeased by the gift of contacts. 8 AM classes in freshman year had me back in glasses real quick, though. Luckily, by that time, I had become much more confident, mature, and well-acquainted with the phrase "Sexy Librarian".

Recently, I had to renew my prescription, for work's sake, and just to make sure everything was copacetic. According to my optometrist, my vision changed, quote, "By about 5%." Since I have no frame of reference, the only thing that meant to me was that I had to get a new pair of glasses. For the first time ever, the office secretary actually guided me through the frame-choosing process, sifting through hundreds of choices to find the ones that best suited me. Wow.

What I ended up with was, for all intents and purposes, these:
And yes, they do make me look a little bit like a hipster. But I'm cool with that. Because I'm secretly a hipster? Possibly. What I'm more excited about is the following:

Anyone who wears glasses or remembers Squints from "The Sandlot" should be familiar with the typical technique for clearing dust from glasses - breathe on it a few times and wipe. While giving my lenses a little "fog-up", I noticed an unusual pattern in the glass, something like this:
At first, I thought it was just my imagination, but after trying it again, the same image appeared. I tried it with my other lens, and lo and behold, there it was again. Even after repeatedly wiping both lenses, the imprint is still there. After some contemplation, I have only come up with one answer:

I am the savior of the Autobots.

(Apologies to all Transformers fans for not knowing how to draw cars and not particularly caring to rectify that. Apologies to everyone else for not being as hot as Megan Fox.)

That, or I will soon be shooting lasers from my eyes. Either way, \m/

Until the next.