The Year of Vakpati

Happy New Year, dear readers.

To attempt to review all that happened in 2014 in one blog entry would not do justice to the giant clusterf--k of events that snowballed at me.  I think it's safe to say that no year is ever really "boring", but even just thinking briefly on the past few months throws me into a real tizzy.  Suffice it to say, it was a sometimes wonderful, occasionally terrible, and always interesting year, and I bid farewell to it fondly and gratefully.

But, it's time to move forward and look on towards 2015.

At the outset of the new year, many of us like to set resolutions and goals to better ourselves.  As you'll have noticed, I do similarly.  Unfortunately, more often than not, I stray from the path by March or April.  This year is different, though.  This year, I'm on a mission from Vakpati.

Vakwhositwhatnow?

I will get to that in a moment, but first, I need to explain something, dear readers:

I am not a fit person:

P.S. My tablet is fritzing, so pencil sketches in the meantime.  Cheers.

I have not been a particularly fit human for most of my young life.  Not to say that I'm grotesquely out of shape, but I've never really been that prone to exercise.  I was in the best shape of my life around 17, when I could throw men twice my size (which, honestly was more skill than strength), but even then, it was only because I was going to the dojo three times a week at the constant prodding of my parents.  Once college rolled around, you could forget it.

Being even moderately strong was fantastic, and honestly, the sensation of being dead tired, dripping with the sweat of a hard workout is remarkably enjoyable.  But motivating myself to get to the gym or any martial arts class?  Well...

Which, when I do magically manage to make it to the gym, invariably ends with this scenario:

Which in turn leads me to become really self-conscious with all the swole brothers and sisters prancing about and too ashamed to ever show my face on the floor again, hence making it hard to motivate myself to start a regimen.  Vicious cycle is vicious.

But this year, there may be a guiding light for me.

One night during the last week of 2014, after a fitful time of getting to bed and some strange nightmares, I had a very quiet sort of dream.  Seemingly without any prompting, I began to walk.  It was a long sojourn, of which I recall little except that the sky was dark, and I was alone.  I wasn't searching for anything.  I wasn't on a mission.  I just knew that I was going somewhere, and that if I walked far enough, I'd eventually be there.

After some time, I made my way to a long, pure white stone cliff that stretched into the hazy, navy and violet horizon.  At the pinnacle, sitting serenely though suspended in the air, was a creature as large as a mountain, the shape of an elephant, and haloed by starlight.

Instinctively, I seemed to know this god-creature's name:  Vakpati.

Who honestly was probably just Ganesha, but looked oddly like Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant

As I approached, the being looked down on me, then turned his gaze to a thin, long tree trunk that had been discarded on a plateau.  Speaking without lips, his voice resounded deep in my mind as he commanded, "Pick it up."

Hesitant, but knowing better than to cross the creature, I bent down to wrap my scrawny arms around the rough bark.  I attempted to heave, but was barely able to make the trunk do more than shift to the side.

I glanced up, waiting for rebuke, but the creature showed no discernible emotion.  "You are weak."  He was not belittling, but merely stern in his disappointment.

"But, only weak of body, not of mind.  Just as they once were."

Beside him, a portal opened, and through it, I could see a gathering of men and women, ready to battle with the forces of evil at a moment's notice.

"Return here when you are ready.  There is something greater that awaits you."

The cliff and the dark horizon soon faded as my dream became more and more lucid, and shortly thereafter I woke up, feeling a little disoriented.

I usually dislike dreaming quite a lot.  When I dream, more often than not, I'm having a nightmare, or the dream depicts something so great that I'm disappointed with having to face cold reality slapping me when I wake up.  That morning was no different, and my healthy helping of reality was accompanied by the recollection that "VAKPATI" is just the license plate of an SUV that parks near me at work every morning.

But maybe, just this one time, I can pretend a little?

Hey.  Can't hurt.

Until the next.