Since my last entry is literally the 3rd most depressing thing that I have ever put to writing, I told myself that I wasn't going to come back to Blogger until I could post something that was a complete 180° in tone.
Unfortunately, it's been remarkably difficult to write anything of a positive nature for the past few months.
You see, dear readers, my life has been in a state of flux since the middle of December. To make a very long story moderately short, my previous position became excessed, and I spent most of the beginning of 2016 trying to decide what I wanted to do with my life. The fact that I am here does not signify that I've really figured it out, but I am in a more stable place, and like it or not, creating things helps me remain (relatively) more stable.
In the past month-ish, I've slowly begun to come to terms with everything that has been launched at me. Most of it came to a head several weeks ago. While at the local Acme, I was incredulously staring along the baking aisle, baffled by the fact that they didn't carry any coconut oil, except for in PAM form. Still not ready to call it a day and grab the spray, I swiveled and faced the other side of the aisle. All the while, I forgot that I was standing smack-dab in the middle of it all, too engrossed with Acme's lack of ability to fulfill my needs. You know - because in order to cope with my staggering depression, I've had to compartmentalize my concerns into superficial First World moments so as not to focus too hard on things outside of my realm of control.
While peering angrily at the shelves, I still managed to not filter out an, "Excuse me," coming from the side. Autopilot kicked in, and I stepped forward while coming back with a hurried, "I'm sorry," before continuing with my obsessive quest for gluten-free, non-GMO, free range saturated vegetable lipids that have never had sexual encounters.
Or, rather, I would have, had I not heard the completely unexpected sound of laughter following my comment.
"No need to apologize," they said with a full, throaty chuckle as they zipped on behind me. Said so nonchalantly and jovially, like it was actually ridiculous that I was apologizing.
And you know what? I almost cried. Right there. Right in the middle of a shitty Acme with no coconut oil. I almost cried because some person was cheerfully confused at the idea that I would say sorry while I was obliviously taking up the middle 1/3rd of a super market grocery aisle, too engrossed in my own small world to realize that there is so much more to think about. Not more to worry about, per se, but to consider and to focus your energies on. And with or without your consent, life still just goes on.
I grabbed PAM and whatever else I needed, and I left for home to make whatever it was I wanted to make.
The first five months of 2016 have seen a lot, a lot, a lot of changes for me. Some big, some not so big, but all relatively significant.
For starters, I crossed a long overdue item off my Bucket List by chopping off 9 inches of hair and donating it:
Do I miss having more hair to style? Kind of, but to be honest, I was constantly so stressed by something as simple as combing my hair into a ponytail that I wasn't stunned at all when the stylist lopped it off. Actually, it felt kind of liberating.
Second, I've lost about 7 lbs and an inch in both the waist and hips within the past two months, mostly by changing how I eat and adding ~15 minutes of cardio to each day. Not that I was an unhealthy weight to begin with, but adding the activity to my life really makes a big difference on my mental well-being, and I do just feel healthier overall.
Third, I've finally done something that I've talked about for years:
That's right, folks. Finally got my first ink. I know. Years ago, I said that it felt like a cop-out to get a tattoo on an area that I couldn't easily view, but honestly, this just felt right. Not to mention, every time I take a shower, I see it in the mirror, and it always puts a smile on my face. I will expand more on the whole process later, but for now, I just wanted to give a quick update.
So. Here's to things being more OK for the rest of 2016 and beyond. I'm sure you'll see more of me in the coming weeks/months as I try to get back into the rhythm of things that make me feel whole.
Until the next.
And you know what? I almost cried. Right there. Right in the middle of a shitty Acme with no coconut oil. I almost cried because some person was cheerfully confused at the idea that I would say sorry while I was obliviously taking up the middle 1/3rd of a super market grocery aisle, too engrossed in my own small world to realize that there is so much more to think about. Not more to worry about, per se, but to consider and to focus your energies on. And with or without your consent, life still just goes on.
I grabbed PAM and whatever else I needed, and I left for home to make whatever it was I wanted to make.
The first five months of 2016 have seen a lot, a lot, a lot of changes for me. Some big, some not so big, but all relatively significant.
For starters, I crossed a long overdue item off my Bucket List by chopping off 9 inches of hair and donating it:
 |
| The closest I've been to Cousin It territory |
 |
| Back to normal |
Second, I've lost about 7 lbs and an inch in both the waist and hips within the past two months, mostly by changing how I eat and adding ~15 minutes of cardio to each day. Not that I was an unhealthy weight to begin with, but adding the activity to my life really makes a big difference on my mental well-being, and I do just feel healthier overall.
Third, I've finally done something that I've talked about for years:
That's right, folks. Finally got my first ink. I know. Years ago, I said that it felt like a cop-out to get a tattoo on an area that I couldn't easily view, but honestly, this just felt right. Not to mention, every time I take a shower, I see it in the mirror, and it always puts a smile on my face. I will expand more on the whole process later, but for now, I just wanted to give a quick update.
So. Here's to things being more OK for the rest of 2016 and beyond. I'm sure you'll see more of me in the coming weeks/months as I try to get back into the rhythm of things that make me feel whole.
Until the next.
Baby steps. No one has this thing called life figured out. Just think: things can only get better from here. Good luck.
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