Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Like Drinking Poison


It is 11:45 PM, EST as I type this.  15 minutes until September the 18th, year 2013 AD (or CE, if that's your fancy.)

This entry comes to you shockingly late because I spent the entire evening (not an exaggeration - 4 PM until present) in the kitchen.

In 13 minutes now, it will by the anniversary of my birth.

I originally promised myself that I wouldn't use my birthday as a topic for blogging because I really don't see a need to make a big deal out of the day.  First of all, I was born around midday, CST, so I'm not even officially birthed yet.  Years are a semi-arbitrary construct.  365 days pass, and it's something to commemorate?

10 minutes.

I realized today that these less-than-enthusiastic feelings might be residual bitterness that I've felt for people who have scorned me during previous years, and that I've come to not expect anything.  No special treatment.  No candles.  No big parties.  If they happen, they're excitedly and wholly appreciated, but they're not the norm.

7 minutes.

But these people.  I don't even talk to them anymore.  I haven't called them friends in years.  There's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

5 minutes.

And it is stupid.  It makes me so angry at myself that I ... I...


FURY BAKING TIME.


It's never good to hold onto anger.  Fortunately, I've learned to channel it into other energies.  It's not the best solution, but it works for now.

Hopefully, it'll carry me through another quarter of a century.

1 minute.

Until the next.

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