Monday Fun-Days

Today, somebody quite sincerely told me that I looked refreshed and ready for the week.

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PWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I find this funny on two counts.  One, when I checked the mirror later, I still had hints of smudges from black eyeliner under my eyes.  Two, this conversation occurred while I was waiting for the coffee pot to finish brewing.

I am definitely a morning person more by necessity than by nature.  In grade school, the bus would arrive at 7:15, sharp.  In university, when my other friends were rolling out of bed at 10 AM, I was usually awake by 7:30 AM for morning classes.  More recently, I had a personal trainer whose best available time slot was 6 AM, which meant I had my first alarm set for 4:45 AM.

A mix of misguided responsibility and determination taught me to rise as early as I do, mostly without complaint.  But while some people are the pinnacle of sunshine at that time of day, I am a zombie. Sometimes worse.

To be fair, I haven't turned anyone to stone, yet, but I think my glare is starting to level up in power.

I can never decide if it's just a result of me having to come back to work after all-too-short a weekend, but Mondays tend to be my worst day.  And sometimes Tuesday.  And Wednesday.  ...And really any day until we get back to Saturday morning again.

"It's clearly just sleep-deprivation, Vic.  Go to bed earlier if you insist upon waking up at the crack of dawn."

That's really sound advice, and to be honest, I usually do get to bed pretty early in comparison to my peers.  I crave sleep like nobody's business.

Here's the problem.  The moment my body hits the mattress, my brain turns on every possible thought-processing function.

Oh, you could go to sleep... BUT WHAT IF SOMEONE EMAILED YOU THE MEANING OF LIFE?!

Why, yes, the bed IS really comfortable...  BUT I THINK I HEARD THE PHONE VIBRATE. MUST CHECK ALL YOUR 'WORDS WITH FRIENDS' GAMES.

You're just getting to that perfect temperature in the blankets...  PERFECT IDEA FOR A NEW NOVEL.

Every scumbag brain meme around?  Applies to me.

But unlike my uterus, which can go f*** itself, I've learned to compromise with my brain.  Instead of forcing sleep upon myself, I set the laptop on my beside table and put an old, familiar show on, like Whose Line is it Anyway or Adam Hills' Characterful.  It's set to repeat until my brain gets so bored of watching the same thing over and over that it is lulled to sleep.

This is probably not healthy.  There is likely something about this that is severely disrupting my sleep cycles, evidenced by the fact that I will occasionally wake up at 2 AM, apropos of nothing, just to shut my laptop.  Though - strangely, I have yet to dream with a laugh-track.  It would certainly beat the other kinds of dreams I typically have.

I'm willing to bet that this is a generational issue - addiction to instantaneous information.  And while I should care, or make some attempt to get back to a normal sleep routine, until someone proves that this is worse for me than all the other nonsense that modern life is doing to ruin me, I'll take what I can get.

Until the next.