Monday, September 15, 2014

The skin I'm in


Driving into work today, the morning show on my usual radio station was talking about regulations being put on what students could and couldn't wear to class at a local school.  The list was pretty extensive - leggings, skinny jeans, short shorts/skirts, tank tops -- essentially anything that showed "too much" skin or revealed too much curvature.  Apparently this was a sticking point for some parents, as any student who showed up to school like this either had to wear their gym uniforms or had to phone home to get their folks to drop off acceptable wardrobe items.

We had rules like these when I was in school, too.  I never really had to think about it at the time, though. because, unsurprisingly, I was pretty conservative in my dress.  Baggy pants were a staple, shirts always fell to my hips (and if they didn't start that way, boy did I learn to stretch them that way).  Any shirt that even that hinted that I had boobs was avoided.  And fie on any girl who wore a skirt that rode mid-thigh.

Even in social situations where a less stringent mode of dress was acceptable, dresses always either had shoulder straps that were three-fingers-wide, or I made a point to cover myself with a shawl or a bolero.  Why?  Because strapless dresses were "easy access."

Oh dear lord in heaven, was I a little shit.

On the off chance that I decide to have children, and I magically have a daughter, how do I handle telling her that if she chooses to wear a certain kind of clothing that she is more likely to be viewed as a sexual object than a human being?  How can I explain that to my adolescent daughter and not be upset that this is how the world is?  Worst of all, it's almost certain that, if she comes home and asks me if she's allowed to buy a miniskirt, my face, whether I mean it to or not, will accidentally betray a hint of disapproval.

Slut-shaming has been around since probably forever, but I've really only become acquainted with it as an idea in maybe the last decade.  I probably wouldn't even have accepted that it were a thing because I was so brainwashed into thinking women who dressed like this were nothing but loose whores.  For the longest time, I believed that a woman had to dress a certain way if she wanted to earn respect.

But men on the other hand... In my head, men could always wear whatever and get away with it.  If a boy were to walk into school wearing a dress, yeah, it might come off as a bit funny, but that would be the end of the story.  

How do we justify the way that we treat each other, just by the clothes on our back?  Why should the length of my hem command your level of respect your for me?  Where do we draw the line between expressing oneself and going "too far" with our fashion?  Does it only apply to one gender?  

And why the hell should there even be a line in the first place?

"And henceforth, we should all just be naked, all the time.  It might be uncomfortable now, but in a few generations, no one will care." -- DG.

Just as long as that means I get to stop shaving, honey.

Until the next.

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