1992:
Dear Little One,
Four! You're 4-years-old now! Why am I this excited? Because this is the year that you really get to attend pre-school for the first time. Your first institution of learning, and really, the first time to start to become socialized with other kids your age. Ah, Great Beginnings, the perfectly named institution for your humble start, little one. Granted, your first day here will go down in infamy as the day that parents stopped encouraging you to learn Mandarin (Damn you, Ms. Amaroso), but there were some really plusses, too. Snack time with ABC pretzels, arts and crafts, learning a sense of responsibility and leadership (clean up, clean up, everybody do your part, indeed), and, um, pseudo bible study. I still vaguely question your parents' decision to send you to a Methodist preschool despite being diametrically opposed to organized religion, and I have to say, this is going to be a confusing point of contention for you for... ever.
And this is the first time that you start making friends! Lindsay, who lives up the block from you, will be in your life for years, which... is questionably good or bad. Andrea, who you carpool with to school, is... also going to also be a slight source of confusion. Christie, who lives down the street, will be an absolute angel, but she'll move in about a year or so. Tara, who lives across the street from you, will be in your life for way longer than is necessary.
Huh. Alright, so maybe not off to a great start here. Look, so you're a little limited in the radius in which you can travel in order to make friends. It's going to get better, though, I promise. And, realistically, no relationship and no friendship is perfect; there are going to be highs and lows to everything. But learn to take the good with the bad. Like it or not, no man is an island, and I wish someone had taught you that sooner, because it would have saved you a lot of loneliness in later years. And don't try to hold onto friendships and relationships just for the sake of them. It's ok to say goodbye sometimes.
Learn to fill your life with things that make you happy and bring you around like-minded people. Sure, the hobbies themselves will enrich your life - I mean, this is the the first year that you start clumsily tapping on piano keys, and look how happy music still makes you to this day. But it's not always about the activities themselves; it's about the experience and how it make you feel, and despite how shy you are, you're going to find that the best experiences in your life are those that you shared with others. People may come and go, but those feelings will still last forever.
Speaking of people coming and going, this is around the first time that Dad will not be in your life for an extended period. You're not really going to understand what is going on, but he's taken a professorship in a far-off place called Taiwan, his, your mom's, and your sister's birth place. It's going to be confusing, because you'll send him presents and voice recordings, even though you don't really know why. And you'll even get to meet your extended family and see Taiwan for the first time! (And never really see them again because 14 hour plane flight, among other things.) You'll see so many cool monuments (and not appreciate it because you're too young) and each delicious food (and dislike it because your palate is juvenile). I'm being a little harsh, but you will make some really neat memories, like meeting your grandparents, and playing with ribbon dancers at the Sun Yatsen Memorial, and seeing fair ladies in qi pao, gliding along with parasols like something out of a dream.
And even though the adults think you'll be too young to understand, you'll cry in the airport when Daddy isn't coming with you on the plane home.
It's hard to say how much this will affect you because, to be fair, you are pretty young. But... let's just say this is going to be the first of a long string of confusing moments and feelings you are going to have with your father.
Chin up, Little One. It'll be alright.
Hearts and kisses,
You.
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